Canon Strikes Back
by PirateBlacksmith
Summary: When Mary Sues invade and the characters stay in character. Completed.
1. Elizabeth Included

A glorious morning had dawned on Port Royal as she swept down the streets, her stride long and graceful. Her long raven hair reached the lowest area of her back, swept back from her face by two beautiful pearl barrettes. Blue eyes held an ocean of mystery, but twinkled with a strange knowledge. Her lithe body moved with the grace of a trained dancer, her features like those of a perfect china doll. Her voice, when she spoke, was like silk, smooth and lilting. Her hand reached for the rough wooden handle of the blacksmith's shop, her mind on one thing.  
  
There he stood, her angel of light. Dark chocolate brown hair swept back, tied at the nape of his neck with a ribbon, and kind, gentle eyes to match. Such strong arms and hands, hands that she wanted to feel touch her. She sighed, watching him carefully as he moved around the shop.  
  
Will looked up, blinking. "I'm sorry. I didn't hear anyone come in. Can I help you?" She smiled, sweeping down the cart that served as a stairway, the long folds of her luxurious dress making hardly any sound behind her.  
  
"I'm looking for you, Mr. Turner." She held out one perfectly manicured hand. "My name is Rose Dawson, out of England. How do you do?" Her curtsey spoke of years of training to make her into a lady.  
  
Will took her hand, shaking it. "It's nice to meet you, Miss. Dawson." Shock registered on her face when he didn't bend over and kiss her hand. But that did not matter. She smiled again, showing perfect white teeth.  
  
"I have come looking for the man who is handy with a blade. I heard that is you, is it not?" Will shrugged, remaining humble about it.  
  
"I practice sword play three hours a day, but I don't know if I'm as good as they say. Are you in need of help?' He asked. She frowned. Why was he not falling completely head over heels in love with her?  
  
She walked to him, getting in closer. "I would like to learn...." She whispered breathily, looking up to him with innocent blue eyes, as deep as the ocean.  
  
"I'm not sure I'd make a good teacher." Will walked away from her, completely oblivious, back to the forge. He pulled out the sword he was working on. "I could recommend you to someone though." Rose balled up her fists in frustration, leaning against the pole, her perfection in the art of seduction showing through.  
  
"But I need a strong, handsome man, such as yourself...." She said breathily, moving one hand up and down the pole.  
  
"Miss Dawson, I hate to break this to you, but I'm already with someone." Will said finally, watching her attempts at seducing him. Rose came over to him, reaching up to stroke his cheek.  
  
"No, she was mysteriously lost on the voyage back from England. I'm sorry." Will plucked her hand from his cheek and put it down to her side.  
  
"She went to the market. She'll be back soon." He told her, slightly wary of her. "You can wait if you want."  
  
She blew up at him. "No! You're supposed to love me! I am shamelessly craving the love of you, but you are a movie character, so I have to get with you somehow, so insert myself as a perfect being into a story I wrote so that we fall madly in love and you are all mine! ELIZABETH MUST DIE!" She panted, done with her ranting.  
  
Will crossed his arms. "I'll ask you to leave my shop now, Miss Dawson. You've made enough of a ruckus. I love Miss Swann; otherwise I would not have teamed up with a pirate and fought undead pirates to save her." He said angrily. "Are we clear on this point?" Rose screamed, and then suddenly exploded, even catching the blacksmith by surprise. Nothing remained but a cloud of dust floating softly to the ground as Elizabeth walked in, carrying a basket. She looked around at the shop, then at Will, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"Is everything alright, Will?" She asked. Will nodded.  
  
"Aye, just another Mary Sue."  
  
"Oh. Hungry?" She held up the basket.  
  
"Of course." He gave her a boyish grin as he slipped his arm through hers, leading her out the door. 


	2. When Sues Attack

Captain Jack Sparrow was known as one of the fiercest pirates in the Caribbean. His crew had plundered more ships than he could count and every time he was at the head of his crew, leading them into battle. This was a completely different situation all together and it terrified him.  
  
"I love you!" The thing screeched, its arms wrapped around his midsection and squeezing tightly as if she were drowning and he was the life raft. "We'll be so happy together." He assumed that it was a girl but wasn't quite sure as it seemed a bit demonic to him. It was perfectly coiffed and wearing breeches and a shirt as if it could actually pass for a man. Jack spun towards Gibbs and Anamaria and the girl went with him, her arms still tightly clasped around his waist.  
  
"What is it?" He demanded, pointing at it.  
  
"I believe that's a Mary Sue, sir." Gibbs responded, backing away slightly. Even Anamaria didn't want to be near it, leaving Jack in an even worse spot.  
  
"Surely you must be joking..." He looked down at the girl. She looked up at him with sparkling emerald green eyes and full pouty lips, her dark hair trailing down behind her. That was all he needed.  
  
"Get it off me!" The frustrated pirate captain bellowed as she snuggled up to him, laying her head on his chest with a happy sigh. "Do it now or you'll find yourselves floating home!" Anamaria winced and turned away from him, searching for a tool to pry the girl off of Jack with.  
  
Gibbs held up his hands. "Now look, cap'n. Just take a deep breath and we'll have you out of there in no time." He gave Jack a reassuring smile, which faltered slightly under the pirate's angry gaze.  
  
"Jack!" The squeal came from the door that led below decks. The pirate's eye twitched and he glanced over his shoulder. Suddenly he found himself stumbling forward a few steps as another girl, this one a brunette, latched herself onto his back. "Where have you been? I've been waiting for you to come to bed." Gibbs backed away faster as Jack tried to pull the girl off, but at the odd angle he couldn't even get a grip on her.  
  
"Get it off! Get it off!" At this point, the pirate captain's shouts had gone from angry to horrified. He saw his cutlass lying a few feet away where he'd dropped it when the first Mary Sue had tackled him. "Someone get them off me!" He shouted in frustration.  
  
The girl hugging him in front giggled. "You're so funny, Jack." The girl behind him hugged tighter. Jack groaned as his stomach was crushed.  
  
"That's why he's my true love."  
  
The girl in front paused. "No, he's my true love."  
  
The girl behind paused as well. "No, I am! I'm Amelia Sparrow, his wife!" She shouted. The girl in front let go of Jack.  
  
"No, I am! My name is Holly Sparrow!" She shouted. Amelia let go of Jack and stepped to the side to better face Holly.  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"Mine!"  
  
"Mine!" The girls argued back and forth. Jack watched the two for a moment before slowly stepping towards Gibbs and Anamaria. Almost as if they possessed some sixth sense, they both turned towards Jack at the same time and lunged for him. The pirate hit the ground, knocking the wind from his lungs.  
  
"You're both wrong! He has no wife, but he is mine! I am Gina Raven!" Everyone turned towards the voice, finding another Mary Sue perched on the rail. She was dressed in men's clothing like the others, blond hair and emerald blue eyes as was standard, and laden down with more weapons than anyone could think was possible. "Back away now and I will not hurt you!" She boomed. Ana took one look at her and pushed her off the railing. Gina shrieked, but was cut off as she landed in the water below. Gibbs looked over.  
  
"Sank to the bottom that one did. Too many weapons on her." He turned to look back at Jack. "Now what to do about this..."  
  
Jack rolled onto his belly as he tried to get away, but Amelia and Holly had other ideas and kept dragging him back. Jack kicked out at Holly, but the giggling Sue caught his foot in her hands. Amelia shot her a dark look and grabbed Jack's face in her hands.  
  
"Time for a kiss..." She said. At that moment, Jack let out the loudest frustrated bellow he could manage. Both girls jumped back in surprise. Jack scrambled to his feet.  
  
"Now wait just a bloody moment. I don't want either of you!" Jack brushed off the sleeve of his now tattered coat. Amelia started to sniffle and rubbed her eyes. "That doesn't work on me." Jack muttered, his voice deadpan.  
  
"Oh phooey." She began to pout, crossing her arms. Holly jumped up and lunged for Jack.  
  
"You just need time to fall in lo...." The girl shrieked as Jack sidestepped her and went flying over the rail into the sea. Amelia suddenly got the feeling that she was very alone. Jack grinned down at her.  
  
"Gibbs? Anamaria? Would you mind helping me out here?"  
  
"Aye!" They both moved forward and helped him pick her up. Amelia squirmed in their grasps, protesting.  
  
"But Jack and I love each other! I'm a pirate and he's a pirate! We're meant to be together!"  
  
"I don't think so." Jack told her before the three chucked her overboard, where she screamed all the way down to the water. She resurfaced a few moments later, spitting up water and cursing.  
  
"Get us out of here!" Jack called to his crew, watching in satisfaction as his crew immediately hopped to. He turned back to Anamaria and Gibbs.  
  
"Glad that's over." He muttered.  
  
"Captain..." Anamaria said. "I know you probably don't want to hear this but..."  
  
"Daddy!"  
  
"Damnnit..." 


	3. Mr Stu

It was a beautiful morning in Port Royal. The sun shone down over the town and docks, people out walking around and basking in its warmth. Birds chirped as they flew above the buildings, swooping and diving. People greeted each other with friendly gestures and words. Nothing could go amiss. That being said, things usually did.

Elizabeth turned to walk down the street that led to J. Brown's Blacksmith Shop. She had one arm under the handles of the basket and the other holding up her skirts to keep them from dragging on the ground. A small smile was on her face, like many other faces of the citizens of Port Royal.

"What a beautiful smile you have, Miss Swann." Elizabeth stopped, glancing around for the speaker with the heavy French accent.

"Excuse me?" A man appeared out of the shadows of the buildings. He was tall and athletically built, with dark eyes that held mystery and wavy long hair tied behind his head. He was clean shaven, and dressed in rich finery.

"My name is Sir Alexander Marcus DePompus." He said with a great air. Elizabeth looked at him uncertainly, then over her shoulder. She wasn't quite sure if this was a scam or a joke, or if this man was actually serious.

"I have come a great distance to rest eyes on your legendary beauty." He swept towards her, his cloak swishing around his ankles. He laid a hand on the hilt of his sword, and Elizabeth could see the many jewel encrusted rings that were there. She crossed her arms with some difficulty because of the basket, glaring at him. "I have come to sweep you off your feet and take you home." He waved a hand towards the sea. "Where you and I can be happy and rich forever." Elizabeth didn't believe that she'd heard a man say such things that dramatically before.

"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, Mr. DePompus, but there will be no sweeping me off my feet. I quite like them where they are at the moment, and I am more than happy with the man that I love." She emphasized the last word, in case he couldn't get that detail though his thick head. Unfortunately, it wasn't emphasized enough.

"There is no man worthy of your great love, but I think that of all those humble men, I appreciate your beauty the most." He tried again. "We shall be free of this lover that ties you down, free as birds in my…" Elizabeth cut him off.

"What do you take me for? Some Helen that you can just take with you as you please?" She asked angrily. "I have something to say to you, Mr. DePompus. I am not some simple minded girl who you think you can just sweep off her feet. I am Elizabeth Swann, the governor's daughter, and if you don't leave right now, you will sorely regret it." She was tired of this man's attempts to get her to run away with him. Yet he still didn't seem phased.

"But my love, your beauty will only wither and die here, with these lowly people around you. Come with me, and you shall be immortal and beautiful forever!"

"It didn't work the first two times. Whatever would make you think that the third would?" He took her hand in his and she yanked it back. "If you don't leave, I will be forced to take drastic actions." He stared at her for a moment, and then shook his head sadly.

"I am sorry. It was foolish of me to think that I, the world's greatest lover, could ever hope to win your hand, Elizabeth Swann." He hung his head. "But I shall not give up. Not until my bones lie deep within this cursed earth." He shook his hand at the sky.

"Oh, leave it be already." Elizabeth said. Then she paused, her eyes narrowing. The overdramatic behavior, the very handsome features, the great amounts of wealth…could it be? She studied him long and hard before speaking again. "How are you at handling a blade?"

He lit up. "Do you want me to fight him for you? To win your honor?" He puffed out his chest "I am the best swordsman that the world has ever seen." He said proudly. Elizabeth pointed a finger at him.

"A ha!" She shouted, marching towards him. He blinked, backing up. "Did you really think that I was that pathetic? You are a Gary Stu." She poked him in the chest. "Thinking that you could sweep me off my feet from Will." She slapped him, and slapped him hard. "Good riddance then." She turned to march back to the blacksmith's shop when she saw another girl sneaking towards it. Her eyes narrowed, and she looked back towards Alexander, still stunned. "That was it, wasn't it? Your great plan. You were supposed to sweep me off of my feet so I would leave Will, and then she…" She pointed to the girl behind her. "…a fellow Sue, would be there to comfort him and eventually end up as his love interest." She was in a foul mood now. "Does commitment not mean anything to you? That's not to tell of what we went through to finally be together. Is it too much to ask for some peace in our relationship?" She turned the girl around, who protested in vain and gave her a good push down the street. "Now, leave this place or I'm sure Will would be more than happy to challenge you to a dual."

Alexander looked a little faint at that. It was well known that Gary Stus were all talk and no action. It wouldn't have been a surprise if he didn't know which end of the sword in question to hold. The girl grabbed his arm and they hurried off down the alleyway. Elizabeth pushed open the door of the blacksmith's shop, and ran right into Will.

"Oh, I didn't see you there." She said, putting a hand on her chest. "You gave me quite a scare." She smile and put the basket on the ground. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she gave him a kiss on the lips. "I love you."

Will looked at her for a moment. "Are you alright? Your face seems a little flushed." She shook her head and took her arms from around his neck. He picked up the basket and offered her his arm. She took it.

"I had a minor disagreement with someone. That's all."


	4. Commodore Sues

"So what you're saying is, if you cut off a chicken's head, it'll still be alive?" Murtogg shifted his rifle to the other arm and gave his friend a dubious look. Mullroy stared right back at him, standing firm with what he said.  
  
"There's a saying about it, isn't there? 'Running around like a chicken with its head cut off.'" Mullroy said, trying to prove his point. "So why would people say it if it was merely a made up sentence? Wouldn't someone have had to seen this happen if there was a saying about a chicken with it's head cut off?"  
  
"Well, it's not possible." Murtogg said, shaking his head. "A chicken can't run around without it's head. Nothing can at that." He turned back around to finish getting ready for his shift out on the wall of the fort.  
  
Suddenly the door burst open and Norrington rushed in, slamming the door shut behind him as he did. He leaned up against it, chest heaving. His wig was knocked to the side on his head and his face was flushed red. Neither man had ever seen the commodore this way and to tell the truth, they were quite worried. Norrington was afraid of almost nothing. What could be so frightening as to force the man into hiding?  
  
A moment later, their unasked questions were answered anyway. A high pitched giggle came from outside the door. "Oh, Norry, you're so funny!" The voice said before giggling again. "Here I thought you were all work and no play. Now you want to play tag! What fun!"  
  
Murtogg's eyes grew wider. "God help us all...is that a...a...?"  
  
"Sue?" Norrington said. He was still leaning against the door, but was able to straighten his wig and jacket. "I'm afraid so. It seems I've attracted my fair share of the dreadful lot. I would've thought that Sparrow and Turner had them all, but I was wrong."  
  
Mullroy raised his hand tentatively. "Commodore Norrington, is that why you didn't go after Sparrow?" He asked.  
  
"I thought the bloody Sues would finish him off for me." He heard the giggling again and winced. "As your superior I command you to go out there and get rid of her."  
  
"But sir, not to be disrespectful, but why can't you do it? She's not but a tiny girl." Murtogg chimed in. "She should be easy to make leave."  
  
"It's because she's a woman that I can't make her do anything. I will not raise a hand against that vile, terrifying,...perfect, angelic..." Norrington started to trail off. Murtogg grabbed the glass of water off the table and sent the liquid in the Commodore's general direction. There was a moment where Mullroy thought he had seen the last of his best friend before Norrington finally blinked, realizing what had happened. "Thank you."  
  
"Not a problem, sir. I've seen what those Sues can do." He set the glass back down. "We'll rid you of her this once sir, but if she comes back, she's your problem." Mullroy nodded in agreement and picked his rifle up as well. The two headed to the door and Norrington slid to the side, keeping well away from the windows.  
  
Outside they were confronted with one woman and she reeked of Sue. Her hair was pulled back in a bun, perfectly coiffed and not a strand out of place. Her dress could only be from someplace expensive like France and she daintily held the parasol in her hands, twirling it idly as she waited. As she saw the two come out, her emerald eyes lit up and she rushed towards them.  
  
"Perhaps you can help me find my Norry." She cooed. "We were playing tag, but now he seems to want to play Hide and Seek."  
  
"Your Norry? Your Norry? Your Norry me ass." Murtogg whipped around as he heard the second voice. The young tavern wench threw down the bucket of suds she was carrying and crossed her arms. "He's meant to come and rescue me, lass. He doesn't want some prissy socialite such as yourself." For someone who had been working a great deal, her fair hair fell in neat waves around her face, going down to her waist. Her blue eyes glittered with fury that someone might be trying to steal her love. And unlike the first, her clothes were tattered in what seemed to be only the right places.  
  
Mullroy nudged Murtogg. "I can see why he ran." He whispered.  
  
The prim and proper Sue raised her chin, perfect nose in the air. "I am Allison DuMont, the daughter of a baron and you will show some proper respect. Commodore Norrington would never be seen with the likes of you, tavern wench." She said haughtily, crossing her arms.  
  
"Tavern Wench? I'll have you know, it's a very glamorous profession or so I think." She struck a pose for a few brief seconds. "And status doesn't matter. Commodore Norrington will see that he only has room in his heart for me, Maggie O'Toole."  
  
The door behind the two guards burst open and Norrington backed out. "Please, no more today. I never wanted this." He bumped into Murtogg and Mullroy. "They breed like sewer rats."  
  
"Sewer rats, eh? Doesn't matter what you call me, luv, I'm still yours and you're still mine. Like the tragic tale of Romeo and Juliet, we come from different backgrounds, but we can still be lovers!" With a dramatic flair, the pirate Sue lunged forward and grabbed Norrington's lapels, holding tightly. "You will give up your love of the law for me and we can sail away on my ship, pillaging and plundering for the rest of our happy lives. Captain Jane Red Eye and her faithful first mate, James Norrington." She smirked slyly and trailed a finger down his chest. "What say you, luv?"  
  
"I say your out of your bleedin' mind!" Maggie shouted. Jane looked up, giving her a nasty look.  
  
"Say that again, lass, and you won't have a tongue." Maggie pushed up her sleeves and stepped forward, raising her fists. With an exasperated sigh, Maggie let go of Norrington and did the same. "Winner takes the man."  
  
"Wait!" Norrington threw up his hands. "I have a way to decide this." Three sets of eyes focused on him. "I helped rescue the first woman I ever loved after she fell off the cliff over there." He pointed to the spot that Elizabeth had fell off the day Jack Sparrow had come to Port Royal. "I ask that all three of you fall from that place and I shall bestow my love upon the one I choose to rescue."  
  
"Only one?" Allison said meekly. "But what should happen to the other two?"  
  
"If you really love me that much, you won't want to live without me. From there you can either get a ship to another island, or drown yourself as you see fit." There was a moment of silence as the three girls looked at each other and then broke out into nods.  
  
"We've reached an accord." Jane said, shaking his hand and taking off running for the cliff. Maggie was right on her heels and Allison trailed behind, shouting for them to wait up. The three men stood still, watching them go. Norrington finally broke the moment, turning and heading in the opposite direction.  
  
Murtogg turned to look at him. "You aren't going to rescue one?" He asked. Norrington regarded him coolly over his shoulder.  
  
"Of course not. Once they're in the water long enough, they'll think I chose one and hopefully head off to a different island." He said. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to attend to." He turned back around and headed up the steps towards his office.  
  
Mullroy turned to Murtogg and shrugged. "Guess it's our watch." He said, heading in the direction of the wall. 


	5. Oregon?

Elizabeth walked down the hallway of the little house that she shared with the man who was now her husband, Will. It was a quiet day, and in her opinion, boring as well. She didn't feel like cleaning or washing the dishes. She wanted something to happen, something exciting and adventurous. Unfortunately, her wish was taken the wrong way.  
  
The front door burst open and in came Anamaria and Gibbs, dragging the gibbering pirate captain between them. Ana dropped him on the floor and Gibbs rushed back to the door, slamming it shut and leaning against it, breathing hard. On the floor, Jack curled up in a little ball, muttering gibberish and rocking back and forth. Ana sat down on the floor beside him, trying to catch her breath.  
  
Elizabeth stared at the crew for a moment before finally speaking up. "What happened to you?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and watching them trying to collect themselves, except for Jack, who hadn't gotten past the gibbering part. Something extremely bad must have happened if the famous Captain Sparrow was reduced to this.  
  
"Girls." Gibbs said between pants. "They just started appearin' on the ship, and they weren't ordinary girls either. All dressed funny and talking funny and jumping on top of Jack." At the mention of the girls, the pirate audibly twitched and went back to gibbering again.  
  
"Why didn't you just throw them off the ship?" Elizabeth asked, sitting on the floor and leaning forward, her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hand. There was something odd going on here, and she was very interested.  
  
"We did." Ana said, wiping a hand across her brow. "But they just kept appearing out of nowhere. It was like witchcraft. And anytime we touched them, they started crying about how they were abused or hurt or needed someone to help them. It happened with every one of them until all of them were crying on board."  
  
Gibbs nodded. "And they all seem fixated on Jack, awed by his presence. They also called him some name. What was it?"  
  
"Johnny." Ana supplied.  
  
"Aye, that was it." Gibbs snapped his fingers. "And then they all jumped on top of him, screaming that they never wanted to go back to their time and wanted to stay here with him. When we finally pulled all the girls off of him, we found him like that." He pointed to Jack. "Poor Jack never even had a chance."  
  
Elizabeth looked down at Jack with pity and reached over, rubbing his shoulder. "I'm sure they'll all go away soon, Jack." Jack's response to her touch was to curl up tighter and smack her hand away. "I hope he's going to be ok." She said in concern. "Maybe Will can talk some sense into him."  
  
Suddenly there was a loud banging on the door and someone yelling in terror. "Open this bloody door! Please!" Elizabeth got to her feet, an eyebrow raised and hurried over to the door. Gibbs got up and opened it.  
  
Will came running full speed into the hallway, nearly running down Elizabeth. He didn't have time to apologize as a herd of girls came running in after him. The one at the head of the pack took a leap and grabbed him around the waist, bringing him down to the ground. Like a pack of angry wolves, the group fell on him, although a few had changed direction and now the frightened pirate captain was submerged under again as well.  
  
Elizabeth's eyes widened, looking at the girls. "They're like nothing I've ever seen before. Their dress is funny and their talk is funny. What is this madness?" Ana got to her feet and grabbed a skimpily dressed girl who had been trying to hug Jack. With Gibbs and Elizabeth in tow, who for the moment could do nothing for her husband, she dragged the girl into the dining room and sat her down in the chair.  
  
"Who are you?" She demanded. The girl blinked a few times and curled up in the chair. A moment later she was sobbing. Ana hung her head and turned to Gibbs. "You try talking to it." Gibbs switched places with her.  
  
"My name is Alice and you're mean." The girl said between hiccupping sobs. She wiped her eyes on the tank top she was wearing. "Just like my mean old dad who tells me that I'm not good enough for anyone." She pointed an accusing finger at Ana. "You'll never make me go back, because I'm going to stay here with Jack and we'll be happy."  
  
Ana made a face. "Why does everyone assume Jack will make them happy? There's a reason why he likes wenches, you thick girl." She rolled her eyes. "Where did you come from?"  
  
"Oregon." Alice sniffled and rubbed her eyes.  
  
"Is that in Europe somewhere?" Gibbs asked.  
  
She gave him a strange look. "No, it's in the United States." Again her comment was met by three blank stares. "I don't know how I got here. I got mad and stormed out of the house and then I found this medallion the beach and the next thing I know I'm here." She sighed happily. "With my Jack."  
  
"He is not your Jack!" Anamaria growled, pointing a finger. On cue, the girl started crying again.  
  
"Is someone going to bloody help me?" Will shouted from the hallway. The girls swarmed over him, grabbing his shirt, stroking his hair, and asking where his sword was. The way they said it made him shudder, feeling violated.  
  
One girl wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh Will, I dreamed of meeting you since I saw you in the movie." She sighed happily and rested her head against his chest.  
  
"Movie? What is a movie? Help me!" He called again, trying to get free but he was trapped beneath the combined body weight.  
  
Elizabeth came stomping into the room, waving at all the girls. "Where did these come from, William?"  
  
Will looked up at her, begging for help. "They were in the shop when I opened up this morning. I don't know where they came from. They just appeared there." Elizabeth walked forward and grabbed the nearest girl, yanking her off and reaching for the next. Soon Gibbs and Ana joined in, trying to free Jack.  
  
It became apparent that there was too many. For each one that Elizabeth, Gibbs, or Ana would throw off, two more would jump back on again. Will had been reduced to a gibbering wreck like Jack.  
  
Elizabeth snapped her fingers suddenly. "Wait here and try to keep them from hurting my husband." She said, heading out the front door.  
  
--------------------  
  
Elizabeth peered at the cell door. "Are you sure that will hold them all?" She asked, watching the girls crying inside. Norrington nodded, looking slightly worried.  
  
"It will. I'm just wondering what we're going to do with them all. All this crying could get on one's nerves quite quickly." He said, looking irritated already. Elizabeth licked her lips and turned towards him.  
  
"Well, you did say that they wanted to build a new jail because this one was quite old." She raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps you should brick this one up?"  
  
A smile crossed Norrington's face slowly. "Yes...of course. Good suggestion, Mrs. Turner. Speaking of, how is your husband faring?"  
  
Elizabeth sighed. "He's returning to normal, I think. There are times when he seems quite fine, but the mere sound of a shrieking girl makes him run to the nearest corner and start gibbering." She shot the girls a withering look. "And he wants to know who Orly is. Apparently more than a few of the girls called him that." She bit her lip.  
  
Norrington looked back towards the cell and shook his head sadly. "We must face it. Port Royal and the Caribbean Seas have been invaded. Nothing will ever be the same. Pirate and Commodore and Civilian must come together to fight this deadly plague of Sues, Stus, and randomly appearing fan girls."  
  
Elizabeth nodded, laying a hand on his arm. "You can count on our help." 


	6. The Horribly Bizarre Plot Twist

As if the invading Mary Sues and Gary Stus hadn't thrown Port Royal into enough chaos, things managed to get worse. Jack wasn't quite sure what this new ordeal was, but he could already tell he didn't like it. There was only one Captain Jack Sparrow and it was him. So why was there another strange looking man standing on the deck of his ship staring at him as if he were the crazy one? In fact, Jack was more than convinced that this man needed mental help in the worst way. He wasn't the only one thinking that way.  
  
Mort Rainey stared back at Jack, wondering who the hell this look-a-like freak was and what he was doing here. The last thing he remembered was typing away at his computer when the storm had made the electricity go out. The next thing he knew, the computer had flickered back on in the dark and then there was a flash of light. Now he was here, bothered, and bewildered. It didn't help that the female was walking around him, prodding him in various places. Finally it got on his nerves and he grabbed the assaulting finger. "You mind not doing that? Thank you." A moment later there was a pistol in his face and he was backing towards the rail, hands held up. "Nice psycho. Put the gun down."  
  
"What did Barbossa do to my bloody ship?" Jack ranted to Gibbs. "I get it back from him and all of a sudden girls are appearing on the ship out of nowhere, and then there are the types that start telling me they're from modern times, and now my odd looking twins!" Gibbs bit his tongue, deciding not to tell Jack that between him and the other man, he was the odder looking one. He just let the unstable captain pace on the decks. "I tell you, this happens to no other man!"  
  
-----------------  
  
Elizabeth sighed happily as she snuggled up to Will in bed, his body warm against her back. She smiled and rubbed his hand softly, not wanting to get up. Her hand paused in mid rub and slowly pulled away. The hands she had been rubbing were softer than her blacksmith's rough hands. She opened one eye and peaked down at the arm encircling her waist. It was pale, not his Caribbean tan. With a shriek she darted out of bed and grabbed for the candlestick on the bedside table. The shriek awoke the other occupant of the bed and he sat up, startled.  
  
Her chest heaved, staring at the blond man who bore an odd resemblance to her Will. "Tell me who you are!" She shouted at him. Her eyes widened as she took in the curve of his ears, unlike any man's that she had ever seen. He had piercing blue eyes that gave her the chills and made her take a step closer to the door, ready to run. "Tell me now or I shall scream again!" The stranger got out of bed, looking at Elizabeth with concern in his eyes.  
  
"Elizabeth, what's wrong? It's me." He protested. "Did you hit your head? Are you not feeling well?" He queried, taking a cautionary step towards her. She raised the candlestick higher.  
  
"What do you mean, me? Who is 'me'?" She growled, shaking slightly. He even sounded like Will.  
  
"Will..." He said slowly, staring at her as if she were crazy. The candlestick dropped from Elizabeth's numb fingers and she stared at him, one eye twitching.  
  
"You're who again?" She asked, her voice strained.  
  
"William Turner. Elizabeth, you must really not be feeling well." He reached for her and she dodged his grip again, pointing at the mirror.  
  
"Look!" She told him. "I'm not the one who isn't feeling well." He gave her a strange look and turned to look into the mirror. His eyes grew wide for a moment before rolling up into his head and with a loud thump he passed out on the floor.  
  
Elizabeth winced. "That can't be good."  
  
----------------------  
  
"An overly bizarre plot device by the author designed to ruin the canon characters, says I." Gibbs said quietly to Jack as they watched Anamaria's further investigation of Mort, who was cooperating more now that she'd threatened to put another hole in him. Jack stared at his friend for a moment.  
  
"Say that again?" He asked finally, trying to wrap his thoughts around the quickly blurted words. Gibbs took a deep breath and repeated what he'd said. Jack nodded. "That's what I thought you said. I do believe you're right." He glanced around. "The same evil that brought Mary Sues upon us is not trying to weaken our sanity with...this..." Anamaria walked back over to them, looking disappointed.  
  
"I didn't get much out of him. His name is Morton Rainey and he lives in that strange place called the United States again, except he's from a town called Maine." She made a face. "Do you think that's close to Oregon?"  
  
Jack held up a finger. "I've got it! All of these evil creations come from this United States. So if we find out where it is, we can stop them!"  
  
"I don't think he's a Gary Stu, Jack. He says he was working on something called a com-pu-ter when there was a strange light and he ended up here." She licked her lips. "He's also very funny. If we don't figure out how to send him back, could I keep him?" Jack stared at her deadpan.  
  
"No! You're not keeping the strange man that looks like me for a pet!" He growled, waving his hands around. "I just want this all to stop. No more shrieking girls clinging to me and feeling parts that only wenches should be touching! No more sensitive talks and rescues from mean husbands/boyfriends/tavern keepers and so on! No more invading my bloody ship by falling on it or appearing on it either!" He was quiet for a moment. "Think we can find a voodoo woman who could clear the problem up?" He asked thoughtfully.  
  
"Ye know, it's scary knowing that someone out there is controlling all our fates with the tip of a pen. You know, writing our destinies, deciding what to do next with us." Gibbs murmured. As on, all three pirates looked up in the air, looking for the mysterious entity that enjoyed scribbling their torture so. The thought that they were mere pawns in some mysterious author's game, and one that was so bad at the game too, was enough to make even the bravest shiver and wonder if there was going to be enough rum to dull the pain when the writer revealed whatever painful plan was in motion for them.  
  
Curiosity overriding anything else, Mort wandered over behind Jack and Gibbs and stared up into the sky as well. "What are we looking at?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. "Is it just me, or is there nothing except the normal clouds and sun up there?" Jack looked back down at Mort.  
  
"Go away." He said firmly. Mort glared at him.  
  
"You know, I'm having a very bad day. The least you could do is tell me who the hell you are and get me home." He said, crossing his arms over his tattered bathrobe, unintentionally mirroring Jack.  
  
"I don't owe you a thing." Jack snapped back. "I should just throw you overboard."  
  
"Just you try..." In a second, both men had latched onto each other and were yanking and pulling, cursing furiously and demanding that the other one let go. Anamaria, Gibbs, and the rest of the Black Pearl's crew were treated to a spectacle that they wouldn't forget until their dying day.  
  
"What's going on?" Elizabeth asked, coming up beside Anamaria. Anamaria shrugged.  
  
"We finally got a guy in all those girls that kept appearing on deck. One of them looks just like Jack." She said. "He's very strange." Elizabeth bit her lip and turned to look at the two pirates.  
  
"So strange things have been happening to you too?" She asked. Gibbs peered at her.  
  
"What's wrong?" He asked finally. Elizabeth shook her head and waved a hand. Reluctantly Will came to join her. His hair was tucked underneath a handkerchief, but the blond roots could still be seen. Elizabeth yanked it off anyway, the golden locks tumbling around his shoulders. Ana's jaw dropped and Gibbs stared at him. Self conscious, Will reached up to rub his goatee, a nervous habit he'd had, only to find it missing. On the deck, Jack and Mort stopped grappling and stared at Will.  
  
Suddenly they broke into two identical peals of laughter, rolling on the deck. Will's face turned red and he quickly snatched the handkerchief from Elizabeth, pulling it over his hair again. Elizabeth stood with her hands on her hips, glaring at the twins on the ground.  
  
"I wouldn't be laughing if I were you, Jack Sparrow. You still have your odd looking twin to contend with!"  
  
"Hey! Who are you calling odd looking?"  
  
"Taken a look in the mirror lately, mate?"  
  
"Well, yeah. What about you, Long John Silver?" And once again, the two men were drawn into the fight again, cursing, swearing, kicking, punching, biting, and whatever else they happened to come up with.  
  
Gibbs looked to Will. "Don't worry, mate. Sooner or later this has to end. The plot must end and leave us all be. Or else we'll be stuck like this." A whimper escaped the blacksmith and he looked like he wanted to go lock himself in a room.  
  
"Elizabeth!" She turned to see James running towards her with a big smile on his face. He grabbed her hands, holding them to his chest. "Elizabeth! I've just been informed that I get to produce the Navy's musical this year! Isn't that just fantastic?" Elizabeth stared at him blankly, not quite sure how she was going to answer that one. A minute passed, and then another, and by the time the third minute came, she was no closer to finding something to say. "Oh, and what happened to Will?" With a frustrated scream, Will stomped off down the deck, the crew making way for the infuriated elf man.  
  
"He's having a rough day." Elizabeth said finally. She shook her head, turning back to face Ana and Gibbs. "Is there anyway to sto...what is this?" It was clear enough what it was, but she wasn't sure what to make of it. Gibbs had Ana pinned to the bulkhead and both were making out like there was no tomorrow. Elizabeth turned her head to the side slightly, mouth opened to say something but not quite being able to think right again. "This has to end. You, Commodore. You're coming with me to find the culprit." She said, grabbing his arm. He followed after her, talking about his plans for songs and dialogue and sets. She tried to tune him out but the inane babble leaked past the barricades and into her brain, giving her a headache. After this was over, she was going to make Will give her a nice massage and make dinner for once.  
  
A thorough check of the Pearl brought her to one last place. Jack's cabin. Steeling herself, she pushed the door open. On Jack's bed sat a girl, scribbling in her notebook with a fervor unmatched by any living creature. "And then they will all be mine, preciousss...mine." She coughed and went back to writing. "Everyone's going to love my plot. Well, not really a plot but it has all the hot guys in it and it's funny and..."  
  
"And makes no sense whatsoever! It's not even funny and my husband looks like..." She paused for a moment. "...feminine!" In one quick movement she had crossed the room and grabbed a handful of the mad writers hair, pulling her to her feet. She snatched up the notebook. "What else were you..."  
  
"MARY SUE!!" Outside, Jack and Mort could be heard screaming the name. Suddenly the fight was forgotten and the two were backed into a corner, wielding sword and shovel at the perfect character who had, of course, suddenly appeared on the deck.  
  
"My loves! Both of you, for me!" She put her hands over her heart, hair flowing out behind her despite the disturbing lack of wind. She closed emerald green eyes and sighed happily. "Long have I waited for this moment when we will be together. The three of us." She paused as she heard shoes on the deck and turned to see Elizabeth running towards the railing of the Pearl, the crazy author and her creator in hot pursuit, a strange blond man running after her and screaming for her to stop, and a commodore skipping after. She shook her head and turned back to the frightened pirate and writer. "Where were we? Ah yes, we were..."  
  
Elizabeth held the notebook over the railing and began shredding it into pieces before throwing them overboard into the water. With a piercing shriek, the Sue disappeared and the writer screamed. Ana started screaming the moment she opened her eyes and her lips were still pressed firmly against Gibbs' chest. Mort disappeared and Jack toppled onto the deck. Will reached up and was quite happy to find his facial hair restored, his hair it's normal dark color, and normally rounded ears.  
  
As one, the victims of the horrible plot device turned towards the author. She stared defiantly at them, crossing her arms. "I can make you do whatever I want." She said, raising her chin.  
  
The look in Will's eyes was malicious. "Oh, can you now..." 


	7. It's All Relative

Captain Jack Sparrow, pirate, had decided that giving up sex sounded like a great idea. This had come after much deliberation and persuasion. The persuasion being the flock of young girls that were clinging to his coat, his vest, his shoulders, anything that could be grasped was held onto tightly.

"Daddy! Father!" The girls kept calling him as such. Jack had done the math in his head and concluded for him to have this many offspring, every wench he had ever bedded must have born him a child. Giselle and Scarlet had given him at least five. The whole Tortuga island must've been crawling with the brats.

He yanked himself away and started off down the street, sprinting for all he was worth. Like a flood breaking through a dam, the girls started off after him. In more modern times, it would've looked like the Tortuga Marathon. Jack raced ahead of them, looking for a place to find shelter. As tavern keepers saw him coming, they quickly boarded up windows and doors.

At the moment, Jack's sanity was barely holding on and he wanted to crawl into a corner and start gibbering again. He thought the horrors of it all would be over when Elizabeth had destroyed the notebook. How careless he had been to think such a thing. Sue authors and the destroyers of canon were many against the small army made up of he, Will, Norrington, and Elizabeth. Groves had joined them for a few days before mysteriously being carried off by a Sue in the middle of the night. Norrington, less than eager to go after a Sue, had resigned to saying that Groves had fought bravely for his country and let it be.

Jack glanced back over his shoulder to see the stampeded was still following him. Most of them were girls who resembled none other than him. A good portion of them were pirates as well, and if he had thought about stopping and asking them, they probably would've told him that they were captains of their own ships too. But seeing as how Jack was an intelligent man, he didn't think stopping to ask would help his prospects anytime soon.

-------------

Weatherby Swann had known his brother Theodore to be a loose man even though he was happily married. He'd had affairs with a few women while his wife was away, but this was absolutely ridiculous. At the moment, the mansion was now playing host to thirty of his nieces and they were all replicates of each other at that. All of them hated what they called 'this dreadfully boring life' and wished for excitement, not to mention had a slight obsession with pirates. All in all, they reminded him of Elizabeth.

James Norrington and Will Turner stood side by side in the foyer, staring at the thirty young women who called themselves Elizabeth's cousins. The young women seemed to be leering back at them, whispering amongst themselves.

"Are you thinking what I am?" James whispered out the side of his mouth towards Will.

"Yes." Will said hoarsely. "I do believe that these girls mean to take us alive." He slowly took a step back, eyes never leaving the girls. James did the same, his breathing shallow. At any moment, the tension in the room might burst.

"Where did they come from?" James whispered again.

"Out of nowhere. You know how Sues are." Will's hand slid around the cold metal of the doorknob and pushing down. The door opened slightly. "Go." James turned and sprinted out the door, followed by Will.

"Get them!" Came the scream from inside. Both men panicked and took off running down the dirt road. Inside the mansion, Elizabeth came flying out of the closet, tugging off the ropes that the imposters had tied her up with. She was the open door and heard the terrified masculine screaming. Her eyes grew wide and she picked up an umbrella, sprinting out the door.

"Get away from them, you tramps!"

Governor Swann finally emerged from the study, half empty glass of whiskey in one hand and the bottle in the other.

"Are they gone?"

----------------

Jack had finally managed to lose them in the twisting alleyways that Tortuga boasted to have. He found his way back out to the small row boat at the dock and as quickly as he could started rowing back towards the Black Pearl. Suddenly the crowd appeared back out on the deck, the hell spawn watching him row back towards the ship.

"You'll always remember this as the day that you almost made Jack Sparrow your daddy!" Jack shouted triumphantly, standing up in the boat. "You'll never…" He hadn't exactly thought of the balance issue in his moment of triumph and the whole rowboat flipped over, dumping him into the ocean.

On board the Pearl, Anamaria slapped her forehead. "Bloody hell, Jack." She groaned. Gibbs winced and grabbed the coil of rope by his feet.

"This is getting ridiculous." He said, throwing the rope over the rail for Jack to latch onto.

"I'll save you, father!" Both pirates realized in horror that suddenly the dock was becoming quite empty as the Sues dove forth into water and started swimming for Jack. Gibbs had never and would never see another man swim faster in his life. Jack swam for his very life as the mob swam after him.

"Giiiiiibbs!" Jack shouted as he grabbed onto the rope. "Pull me up! Pull me up!" With a nod to the crew, Gibbs started pulling back on the rope. Jack shot out of the water just as the first offspring reached out for him. He clung tightly to the rope, curled up in a ball as Gibbs pulled him upwards. As soon as he was close enough, Jack latched onto the rail and pulled himself over, flopping to the deck like an oversize fish.

"Get us out of here." He commanded, getting to his feet and sprinting for the wheel. As soon as they realized they wouldn't be getting on board, a wail started from those down in the water below. The sobs mixed to form a sound similar to the Greek Siren's wail, only not alluring, just annoying. The crew and captain of the Black Pearl slapped their hands over their ears. Some fell to the deck, writhing in pain. Jack pulled his bandana down over his ears and started screaming orders to his crew.

The wailing continued.

-----------------

"Think we lost them?" Will glanced over to Norrington with a hopeful expression on his face.

"So it would seem." James responded, taking a seat over by the workbench. They'd agreed to come to the blacksmith's shop to hide. It was no secret they would hide there, but now they were on turf Will knew intimately and had many sharp objects at their disposal.

Over in the corner, Brown gave off a rumbling snore and shifted in his sleep, empty bottle falling from his hand and rolling away. Will jumped at the sound, but allowed himself a laugh as he realized what it was. James chuckled as well. Suddenly his face went pale and his eyes went wide. "Behind you…"

Will whirled around to see the young woman standing there. Well, more like seven of them. All were dressed in outfits he suspected they had made on their own since he had never seen the likes of design or material before. They all had long dark hair and eyes, and each one was giving him not an I-Want-To-Kidnap-You-And-Make-You-My-Cuddle-Monkey look, but the look a sibling gives another sibling when they're amused.

"Dear brother." They chorused and stepped towards him. At that point, the brave blacksmith who had gone up against undead pirates to save his beloved screamed like a little boy and took off running. James wasn't too far behind. Both men slammed into the door, trying to unlock it as the girls approached.

"Really now, is that how you treat your sister?" The girl in the lead queried. She pulled out her sword. "How about we dance, you and I? Like old times."

"Ai!" Will shouted and banged on the door. "Help us! Please!" His next plea was cut off as a bottle slammed into the door beside his head. He turned to see Brown unsteadily wavering on his feet.

"I'm tryin' to sleep ya little bassard…" He drawled before his head lolled to the side again. As one, the girls turned towards Brown.

"You can't talk to my brother that way!" One of them shrieked. James took advantage of the moment to finally wrench the door open and allow himself and Will out into the street. Another scream ripped through the alleyway as James spotted Elizabeth's cousins sprinting towards them, shouting declarations of love.

Blacksmith and commodore sprinted down the alley and out into the street, pushing through the crowd. They made it to another alleyway and turned down into it, still sprinting.

Eight hands reached from one of the doorways and pulled the two in. Before they could scream, hands clamped over their mouths. Somewhere in the darkness a match was struck and a candle was lit. Will sagged in relief as he saw Elizabeth's face. James relaxed as well and they were both released. The other three turned out to be none other than Jack, Anamaria, and Gibbs.

"What are you doing here?" Will asked Jack.

"What?"

"I said what are you doing here?"

"What?" Jack said loudly, straining to hear. Will stared at him before turning to Anamaria.

"Would you tell him that I said…?"

"What? I can't hear you! Jack's bloody daughters' wailing made us all go deaf for a while." Ana said loudly. James raised an eyebrow and mouthed 'daughters' in Elizabeth's direction. Elizabeth simply shrugged and put the candle down on the table.

"The question is what do we do now?" She said, looking at all of them. Her question was never answered, as there was a knock at the door.

It was the first time anyone had heard Norrington mutter an obscenity.


	8. Kidnapping Canon

The question was how much longer any of them could last. The screaming, whining, crying, and general squealing from outside had yet to calm down and seemed to have increased in volume for the past hour. Repeatedly the cries of 'Daddy!' and 'Marry me Jack!' and 'I love the commodore!' rang out above the crowd and arguments would break out. Some of the more vehement ones would shout 'Death to Elizabeth' and 'Death to Anamaria!' to which Anamaria promptly drew her sword and tried to head out the doorway to skewer the bearer of such words. It took Jack's power of persuasion to stop her from doing any such thing, as removing the barrier and opening the door left them to a great doom that he didn't wish to think upon at the moment.

Norrington had taken to poking around the room. They'd managed to barricade themselves in an old storage room and he was quite sure that there had to be a way to sneak in and out. Gibbs was sitting in the corner, knees curled up to his chest as he mourned his empty flask and realized that there was no more alcohol to help him face the peril outside. Will sat on the floor, Elizabeth curled up in his arms and clutching at his shirt as death threats were shouted in her general direction. Will's eye kept up a steady twitching as he heard random love proclamations. Ana was skulking on the floor, sword still out and ready to do some damage. Jack was sitting on the floor, fingers stuck in his ears and singing at the top of his lungs, conjuring up any old sea songs he could think of to drown out the noise.

"I've found it!" Norrington's triumphant cry rang through the room and he came sprinting back around a pile of crates. Jack found it oddly disturbing how he managed to somehow keep the bearing befitting his rank, yet looked as if he were going to start jumping up and down giddily at any moment. "There's a crawl space in the back of this room." He said in a rush. "Come. We need to leave this place before they figure out how to get in here without breaking a nail and mussing their hair." The group needed no more encouragement and got to their feet, following the commodore to the back of the room. As he had promised, there was a crawl space and one by one they entered. Norrington, ever the gentlemen, was last.

"Where does this lead to?" Jack asked as he kept feeling his way along the ground, wishing for some kind of light at the end of the tunnel.

"I have no idea, but it's better than in there." Norrington responded lightly as they heard a loud crashing noise from the room they had just left behind. "Wherever we are leaving to, we need to move quicker!" He pressed. Jack hadn't heard a word said, already trying to crawl at the speed of light.

The tunnel seemed to last forever before they reached a rather sharp turn. Jack peeked around the corner to see light. He smirked and crawled forward. Breaking out into the light, he raised his arms and basked in the sun. "Thank you whatever power above there be..." Anamaria grabbed his belt to help herself up, as did Gibbs. Jack paused and then glanced over his shoulder to glare at them both. "Do you mind? I'm thankin' whoever seemed fit to spare our lives..."

Will got to his feet and held a hand out to Elizabeth. She took it and climbed to her feet, brushing off her long skirts. Norrington came out last and with the help of Will and Jack scooted a nearby abandoned crate over the hole. "Is everyone alright?" Norrington asked and there were various comments ranging from surviving to blatant thankful praise to be out of that room.

But the relief was short lived. As they headed towards the mouth of the alley, the sounds of feet stampeding across the hard packed dirt could be heard. No one needed to look over their shoulders to realize just what was coming towards them, nor did they need to be told to run. Once again, pirates, commodore, the blacksmith, and his lady love were running through the streets with Sues in hot pursuit.

Jack saw the blur flying at his knees too late and a moment later felt himself impact the dirt. An 'oomph' escaped him as he hit the ground. The group that had been at his heels saw the pirate fall too late to stop themselves and soon enough were lying on the ground at various distances as they fell over Jack's prone body. He rolled over and let out a groan as he saw the ten year old pirate with her arms wrapped around his legs.

"Daddy! I missed you so much after you left me at that port with that really mean nasty man but I don't blame you in the least because you're a pirate and the bestest pirate around and I love you so much so after I escaped from him because he was going to make me his slave I came looking for you and now I found you and aren't you so glad I did? Huh, huh, huh?" The onslaught made Jack's head heart and he let his body fall back to the ground with a groan, rubbing his temples.

"We're all doomed." Will moaned as the stampeding escaladed, as well as the shrieks and shouts. The crowd descended upon them like a plague of locusts upon a corn field. In the middle of the largest group, Jack pushed his way to his feet, which he immediately found to be a very bad idea. Suddenly anything that could latch onto him was. They squeezed him tightly, telling him how much they loved him and they couldn't wait to be a pirate with him. Jack slapped a hand away that hadn't been so much affectionately patting, but groping. The onslaught of voices made him feel strangely aggressive, but he realized that he didn't have near enough shots to silence them all.

Elizabeth felt herself being shoved back farther and farther until she reached the edge of the group and was knocked onto her behind. An extremely angry expression crossed her face, cheeks burning bright red as she got to her feet. She pushed up her sleeves and shot forward, knocking girls away, grasping hair and sleeves as she made her way through the group. Protests and mean commentary were shot in her direction, but she ignored them as she made her way. Reaching the center of the group, she reached down and grabbed onto a familiar rough cotton shirt and pulled upward. Will appeared, looking slightly dazed and covered in red marks faintly resembling the shape of lips.

"Listen up the lot of you." She shouted and there was a small decrease in the clamoring, but not by much. "This blacksmith here belongs to me!" She bent down and brushed her finger in the dirt. Standing up, she wrote 'Mine' in faint letters on Will's forehead. "If any of you feel the need to challenge this, please speak up." The roaring grew louder as the Sues shouted in protest. Will put his arm protectively around Elizabeth but was unable to shield her like he had hoped.

"I love Elizabeth Swann!" He shouted above the noise and it only grew louder.

"Will! You can't be serious! You love me! We were meant to be!"

"Elizabeth isn't your true love! I am!"

"Maybe that wasn't the smartest idea..." Will said, wincing and holding Elizabeth tighter. Elizabeth put her arms around his waist possessively.

"Away! Away with you all!" Anamaria shouted as she stood back to back with Jack. Glancing over her shoulder, she stared up at Jack with an eyebrow raised. "You've been a busy man, Captain, haven't you?" She inquired off-handedly. Jack shot her a dark look and turned to face the masses pressing in on them.

"I don't know where all of them bloody came from, but they're not mine!" He bellowed, trying to prove a point to them. The few girls that did manage to hear him burst out crying, tears falling down their faces. Soon enough it caught on and spread like a plague through the crowd.

"You made them wail again!" Anamaria groaned. "They're wailing again." Jack gave her an apologetic look and then turned to face her.

"I may have a way to make them quiet down." He told her. "But you can't slap me."

"Wait, what do you mean I can't...mmph!" Anamaria's eyes widened in shock as Jack grabbed her by the shoulders and kissed her full on the lips. The wailing suddenly died, leaving behind an eerie quiet from all of Jack's Sues. Jack pulled away from Anamaria. She gaped at him in shock, mouth working but no words coming out. As if to challenge them to say a word, Jack turned towards the crowd with his arms crossed. Behind him, Anamaria slowly recovered and then smirked at the girls.

"You...you kissed Anamaria. Jack, how could you! I thought we had something special!"

"How could you do this to me? After all the moments we've shared together!"

"No! This can't be! I won't allow it!"

"Mr. Gibbs! A little bit of help would be nice!" Norrington protested as hands reached out, grabbing at his jacket and hat. He slapped them away as hard as he dared, but still they came.

"I won't be messin' with Mary Sues. Frightful bad luck they are." Gibbs told him before sitting down on a nearby stoop. "Besides, this clearly isn't my fight..."

"Gibbs!" The girl flounced down on the stoop, jade green eyes twinkling up at him. "My love! Where have you been?" She grasped him tightly around the waist. "I was awfully worried about you!" She laid her head against his shoulder. Gibbs' eyes widened in shock, but the only sounds he could make was a slight gasping as he was squeezed tighter and tighter.

Norrington shook his head and went back to trying to move out of the center of his group. "Now, now! Leave me be or you'll find yourselves in a cell! Don't laugh at me, I mean it!" He shouted above the noise.

"It's that Elizabeth, isn't it? She broke your heart and now you're afraid to love another! Poor Norry!"

"Indeed! Something must be done to rid him of this awful burden!"

In that moment, a Norrington Sue was talking to a Will Sue. After conferring with a Jack Sue, the three came to one conclusion. They had to remove the problem that prevented them from reaching their lust objects. Slowly the plan spread through the groups, each agreeing wholeheartedly to the plan. Slowly it became quiet, and the canon characters became very nervous.

"You know what must be done, ladies! Attack!" As if the pushy groups hadn't been enough, suddenly they swarmed over the six unlucky characters. Norrington, Gibbs, Will, Elizabeth, Jack, and Anamaria went down beneath the bodies. In the chaos of it all, they lost their grips on each other.

"Watch your hands!" Will bellowed indignantly as he crawled on the ground, looking for Elizabeth. Jack was lying on his back, swatting and kicking at the encroaching hands. Norrington was using his new cursing vocabulary to swear up a storm as he was prodded and pulled.

Then suddenly they were gone. Jack slowly peeked between his fingers and glanced around. "Where'd they all go?" He said quietly, bracing himself for another attack. Will opened his eyes and sat up, glancing around.

"They're gone alright..." He turned around to look. "But so are Anamaria and Elizabeth!"

Norrington got to his feet. "They took them! They planned something for them so that they would be out of the way for them to take us!" He made a fist. "Blasted Sues."

Jack glanced around, taking evaluation of his small fighting force. A drunken old pirate, a commodore who hated pirates, and a lovesick blacksmith. They were doomed.

"This only leaves us with one choice. We must rescue them."


	9. Mary Sues 101

Before the pirates, the blacksmith, and the commodore could come to an agreement on any solid plans, the landscape around them disappeared. For a moment they were blinded by a bright flash of white light. As it cleared, they found themselves sitting in very odd looking chairs with small tables attached to one arm. The room itself was not very big, with a strange square hanging from a pole.

"Where are we?" Jack asked, blinking the spots away from his eyes and finally taking in the room. Norrington's eyes darted from side to side nervously.

"Is this some trick of the Sues?" Will muttered quietly as Gibbs started to slide out of his seat. Suddenly the door slammed open and they all jumped. The only thought that collectively entered their minds as the female strolled in was that this was indeed the work of Mary Sues. Instinctively they all started to creep from their seats, glancing towards the door.

"Hold it." She slammed the door shut again and glanced towards the four. "Relax. I'm not one of those dreaded beasts." She smirked, resting her hands on her hips. "In fact, I'm not even really female. I'm a muse, the author's muse to be exact." Her expression darkened and she muttered something under her breath about being overworked. "But that's not the point. The point is, I'm here to educate and not necessarily you. The story, however, needs to halt while I educate." She rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers, a remote appearing in her hands.

Jack blinked. "You have to be a Sue if you can do that." He protested.

The light's darkened in the room and the strange square lit up. In large black print were the words 'What is a Mary Sue?' The girl shook her head and sighed.

"Captain Sparrow. I'm not a Mary Sue because I am a Muse." She paused. "Wait, there are Mary Sue muses or else those stories wouldn't exist." Her eye twitched as she thought it over. "Anyway, I am not a Mary Sue because I can do this. In fact, I'm a figment of imagination sent here to educate you. I can't do anything else except make objects pertaining to the lesson appear with my handy dandy remote control. Now watch the screen."

"But why are we here?" Will interrupted again. The muse shot him a look.

"Because there have been questions asked as to what a Mary Sue is and you yourselves have questions as how to defeat them. Hence the lecture." She waved a hand at the screen. "Now, quiet all of you or I'll..." She was quiet for a moment before hanging her head. "I have nothing with which to threaten." There was a moment of depression before she brightened. "Let's get on with the lesson." She pressed a button on the control and a horribly drawn stick figure with curly blond hairs and a pink ribbon appeared on the screen. "The author really needs to take some art classes..." She muttered under her breath and pointed to the definition.

_A Mary Sue by definition is an original character that is extremely beautiful with no flaws whatsoever. Keep in mind that not every original character is a Mary Sue. There are original characters that have been overpowered by the Sues that are fantastically written. Anyway, back to topic, Sues usually have extremely tragic pasts and usually end up as the love interest of one of the main (and most of the time good looking) characters, who are acting very out of character anyway. They can be pirate captains, wenches, women who are bored with upper class life, children, or from an era that is nowhere near that of the canon character's. _

"We knew this." Jack muttered, laying his chin on his hand.

"So that's what a Mary Sue is..." Gibbs muttered from behind him. Jack frowned and turned, glaring at him. Gibbs shrugged helplessly. "I know now..." He said and slouched down in his seat.

Muse (having an author who took so much time to find her a creative name) cleared her throat and switched the slides. "As I was saying, Sues have no flaws but are skilled in nearly anything without ever having to practice. As a demonstration, Will get up here."

The blacksmith blinked and then slowly slid out of his seat. Muse shoved a sword in his hand and stepped back, looking down at the buttons on her remote control. "Let's see, let's see...ooh, here we go!" She pressed a button. There was a fuzzy blur and a Mary Sue appeared, brandishing a blade.

"Will Turner, my love, shall we spar?" She said shyly and lunged towards him.

"Keep in mind, you don't fight against her, she gets to glomp you." Muse said as she leaned against the wall. Will groaned and prepared himself for the Sue to come flying at him. They crossed blades, but Mary Sue was stronger, faster, and more skillful than Will. She knocked his blade out of his hand and lunged for him, lips pursed.

"Kiss me!"

"I don't think so!" The Sue froze in place, just inches from Will. He opened one eye tentatively and slid slowly away from her. "Now, does anyone want to tell me why this Mary Sue here was able to defeat someone who's practiced three hours a day everyday for who knows how long?"

There was complete silence from the room. Norrington raised his hand. "It's impossible."

"It should be impossible." Muse said tiredly. "Yet it still happens. Go sit down, Will." Will eagerly slid into his seat behind Norrington, still watching the Sue warily. "Next we move on to attack methods of the Sue."

All four men cringed visibly and Muse pursed her lips, changing the slide again. "First we have the hug, which most call the 'Help I can't breathe!' hold." She pointed at Jack. "Stand up here."

"No." Jack glanced at the frozen Sue. "I'm not going to be a bloody demonstration."

"Oh, you are." Muse pointed the remote and the Sue unfroze. Her eyes settled on Jack and she shrieked loudly enough to make everyone cringe. Her arms wrapped around Jack's shoulders before he could move, squeezing tightly.

"Jack, my love! We must be together forever because we are truly soul mates, both of us pirates..."

"And I think you're really hot and when you think about it I've been a pirate since birth and have my own ship at a really young age so I must have been plundering booty at the age of two..." Muse mocked. Jack's face was turning dark red from lack of oxygen. "Crap! Sorry!" She pressed the button and the Sue disappeared and reappeared beside Muse, frozen again. Jack coughed, sucking in deep breaths of air." And moving on...the next attack is the smooch attack. Norrington?"

The commodore's eyes widened as the Sue became animate and lunged at him, kissing every inch of his face and proclaiming her love. Norrington protested loudly as Muse tried to find the button again. The control dropped from her fingers and skittered across the floor.

"Sorry!" She apologized and snatched it up. The Sue was reset again. "Usually I'm better with this...Alright. We've done the hug, the kiss, and last..." She pressed the play button and stuck her fingers in her ears.

"Jaaaaack!" The Sue wailed and Jack shrunk into a ball. Norrington pulled his wig down over his ears. "Please, my love, help me!" Will groaned and stuck his fingers in his ears.

"Shut up!" Jack roared, pulling his bandana down and trying to shrink into himself. "I can't take this anymore. Bloody Sues!"

"Neither can I." Muse pushed the stop button. "Evil, little w..." She trailed off. "I hate them with a passion. Makes for a lot of Muse versus Muse fights." Quiet for a moment, she switched the slide.

_Mary Sues are most often found in stories where the characters are completely out of character. For example, Jack Sparrow is suddenly unable to resist a woman's charms or Will suddenly leaves Elizabeth for no reason, or Elizabeth dies suddenly without explanation. Romance always results and Sue forgets about angsty past immediately even though it should've left some impression on her. Go figure. Usually the male canon character is unable to resist._

"I think I had a nightmare like that once." Jack said. "And then I had to get drunk to forget it." He wrinkled up his nose. "Wait, I've had more than a few."

"You're all going to need a nice long vacation after this." Muse said sympathetically. "I'm sorry to say the rest of this lecture brings no more good news."

"What? This hasn't brought any good news." Norrington protested.

"But this information is really going to suck." She flipped the slides again.

_There is no way to defeat a Mary Sue. They cannot be killed, injured only briefly, and don't have the brain capacity to even be swayed. Basically their immortal pains in the asses. Scientists and Mary Sue hunters are currently conducting experiments and collecting information to figure out weaknesses._

There was a moment of silence before the grumbling started.

"Can't kill them? That's impossible..."

"We're all goin' to die..."

"You know, Ana's always been a strong woman, I'm sure she'll get out of it all by herself."

"Must...stop...being...rash...must...rescue...Elizabeth..."

Muse watched them, slowly backing towards the door. "Well, boys, I hope you learned something in this little lecture, as well as those who sent e-mails asking..." He fingers brushed the doorknob. "Have fun!" In a flash she was out the door. The room started to blur again and they found themselves standing in the middle of the street again.

"So we can't kill them, they're great at everything, and we're going to be seduced." Jack said idly. "I think we're going to need a plan."


	10. The End

The thing they don't tell you about plans involving the demise of Mary Sues is that they're damn near possible to create, which was a problem Jack soon found out about. The pirate soon was talking to himself as he paced the narrow alleyway, hands making erratic gestures as he tried to figure out just how they were going to defeat the masses. Will, Norrington, and Gibbs had each found a place to sit and watch Jack's pacing, waiting for the pirate to have a moment where it all clicked. Will was continually fidgeting, his mind clearly on Elizabeth's plight.

"I've got it!" The pirate's gaze settled on the three men sitting before him. "Who would be willing to sacrifice themselves to save lives?" His gaze lingered the longest on the man who would most likely be the most self-sacrificing. Slowly Norrington and Gibbs looked over at him as well, an unspoken mutual agreement among them. Will blinked, glancing around at them all. Slowly the expression on his face changed to one of utter terror.

"I don't think that would be a wise idea." Will said quickly, the image of Sues swarming over him and not being able to fight back terrifying him more than fighting against undead pirates who couldn't be killed. He bit his lip, looking up at Jack with wide, innocent eyes. "That would be giving them what they want and then they would never stop." He whispered in a hushed voice.

"My men can't even hold off the Sues that have invaded Port Royal now. If one of us were to give in, the Sues would swarm." Norrington interjected. Jack crossed his arms, looking slightly offended that the only plan he had come up with had been so quickly rejected.

"Look, we're goin' to have to fight them at some point. We need to get Elizabeth and Anamaria back." Jack responded. "Besides, William will die if something happens to Elizabeth."

Norrington looked fearful. "That is if they're still alive."

------

Anamaria slowly came back to the waking world, a blaring headache making her wish she had stayed knocked out. As she opened her eyes, she glanced at her surroundings and felt her breath catch in her throat. She jerked her arms and found them tied tightly, as was the rest of her body, to the pole behind her. The room reminded her of the interior of a town meeting hall, with rough benches facing the front of the room, where her pole seemed to be firmly planted. Looking to her side, she saw Elizabeth tied up as well, still out cold.

"Elizabeth." She hissed and reached out with her leg, trying to nudge the young woman. Elizabeth mumbled something unintelligible and shifted in her binds. For a moment her body froze completely, then her head rose and she blinked. Her eyes widened in terror and she glanced over to Anamaria, her mouth slightly open in a small 'o.'

"The Sues?" She asked quietly.

Anamaria nodded. "The Sues." She said quietly and glanced around at the empty meeting hall. "I don't think they're going to be giving us their blessings anytime soon." She twisted her wrists again, but the only result was rope burn. Elizabeth tried as well and ended up with the same results.

The door at the far end of the room banged open and a procession of Sues marched into the room in two rows. Anamaria took a moment to marvel at the fact that they had enough brain cells between them to organize. She then realized that this could be a problem. If they were able to work together, then she and Elizabeth stood nearly no chance of getting out of the situation alive.

The Sue in the lead stopped. Her purple eyes flicked over Anamaria and then Elizabeth. A cruel smile crossed her lips and she flicked her long brunette hair over her shoulder. Planting her hands on her unnaturally slim hips, she drew in a deep breath and raised her chin. Anamaria had an urgent need to knock out her front teeth.

"My name is Star Arianna Cassandra Rochelle Crystal." She said smoothly, her voice flowing like silk. Once again, Ana felt the homicidal urges rising and Elizabeth was saying some uncharacteristically unladylike things under her breath. "As the Mary Sue Tribunal, we have found you guilty of trying to obstruct our soul mates from realizing their true love for us. Being guilty of this crime, we're going to kill you now so we can take the hot pirates, 'kay?" A few of the Sues giggled behind her, obviously excited at the prospect of Jack, Will, or Norrington soon being theirs.

"You can't be serious." Elizabeth said, stomping her foot on the floor. "You don't know what you're doing. This is canon you are messing with and this is not your world. William loves only me and I love only him. Anamaria and Jack..." She glanced to Anamaria, quiet for a few moments before continuing. "They have a relationship of some sort, I suppose." She said. "My point is that you will not win! We've defeated undead pirates who could not die under the curse. You are merely just a problem to overcome."

"Elizabeth, quit being such a bitch. You're just jealous of us." One of the Sues commented haughtily. A few of the girls snickered and whispered amongst themselves, pointing at either Elizabeth or Anamaria.

"Star, let's just get rid of them. The faster Jack starts mourning, the faster I can 'comfort' him."

Anamaria groaned, hanging her head. "Jack, if ever there was a time you need to play hero, this would be it."

-----------

Serenity and Michaela stood in front of the doors of the town meeting hall, talking excitedly. Michaela would soon be courting Captain Jack Sparrow. Soon a treaty would form between the Black Pearl and her ship, The Unicorn, and they would be the most feared pirates on the Caribbean seas. Michaela on the other hand would soon seduce Jack Sparrow as he mourned for Anamaria and he would invite her aboard his ship to become his new first mate. They didn't know the fantasy the other harbored, only that they would soon have a chance to be Jack's one true love.

Speaking of one true love, he was swaggering towards them as they giggled in high pitched voices. When they realized Jack was approaching, the conversation came to a sudden halt and they lapsed into fan girlish fantasies, staring at him with adoring eyes. As they stared on, Jack dropped down in front of Serenity on one knee. Serenity's breath hitched in her throat and she stared down at him.

"Lass, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've decided that I want you to be my soul mate." He said simply, taking her hand in his. Serenity let out an ear drum shattering shriek and lunged forward to wrap her arms around his neck.

Suddenly her way was blocked by Michaela. The girl stared Serenity down with hatred on her face. "No. Jack is mine." She said, her voice seething with venom. Firmly she pressed her palms against Serenity's shoulders and pushed her back. "That's the way things will be. We are the only couple meant to be." Turning her back to her fellow Sue, she smiled slyly at Jack. "I'm here and I'm prepared to go with you Jack." She said seductively, opening her arms.

Serenity slammed into Michaela, the two girls falling onto the ground and rolling around, tearing at each other's hair and screaming obscenities. Jack cocked his head to the side, watching them fight it out. Norrington appeared by his side, an eyebrow raised.

Not but a few moments later, both Sues lay dead on the ground. Norrington looked impressed, although he was reluctant to admit it. "So the secret to killing a Mary Sue is to be a Mary Sue?" He questioned.

Jack held up a finger. "A Mary Sue can only be killed by another Mary Sue. So all we need to do is to turn them all against each other." He smirked evilly. "There is only one Jack Sparrow, one Commodore Norrington, and one William Turner. There's hundreds of Sues."

"I must admit that you have come up with an excellent plan here, Captain Sparrow." Norrington shook his head. "But you do realize that we will still be enemies after this is over."

"Agreed." Jack said, holding out his hand. Norrington took it after a moments pause and shook it.

"Agreed."

-----------

"Excuse me!" The door at the front of the meeting hall burst open. The multitude of Sues turned to face the intruder. However, when they saw him, their faces lit up, a sea of perfect faces and hair. Jack fought the urge to run for safety and looked for Elizabeth and Anamaria. They were at the front of the building, tied to wooden poles like those accused of being witches. Anamaria perked up when she saw Jack enter. Elizabeth immediately started to look around for some glimpse of Will. Finally her gaze settled on the blacksmith sliding in through a side door. "I have an offer to announce."

The room had gone completely silent, unnaturally colored eyes fixated on the pirate captain. A few Sues even took the time to primp before Jack made his announcement. A few of the Will and Norrington Sues glanced around for their lust objects. One Sue caught sight of Will sneaking towards Elizabeth and elbowed another. She turned and her eyes widened as she caught sight of him.

"Commodore Norrington, Mr. Turner, and I have come to a decision. We will allow one of you to become our soul mates. However, there can be only one and many of you. Therefore, you will have to discuss it amongst yourselves just who will receive this honor." Jack announced, crossing his fingers behind his back. Norrington noticed this and began to wonder if the plan would even work.

At first there was nothing but silence. Then slowly the Sues began to glance at the girl standing next to them. Tension began mounting in the room as no discussion started, each Sue thinking that she would have her chosen male to herself.

"I, Star Arianna Cassandra Rochelle Crystal, claim Jack Sparrow as mine!" She shouted, pushing through the girls towards Jack. That was all that needed to be said. Chaos broke loose in the room. Jack slowly backed towards the doorway, eyes wide at the mass destruction occurring. Will had gotten Anamaria loose and they were trying to free Elizabeth, but the battle between the Sues was impeding the process.

Will ducked another fist that had been aimed at the Sue's fellow blacksmith luster and tentatively shoved the two girls away. The girl who had been swung at leaped at the girl who had attempted to hit her, swearing that she would never lay a finger on the blacksmith.

Screams, both angry and dying, rang through the room. Sues piled on one another, promising that they were the one truly meant to be Jack or Will or Norrington's one true love. Not one of them had enough of a brain to figure out that they were being used against each other. Their minds were focused on lust and possessiveness. There was only one goal and that was to be the last standing. Jack had to admit that there was one thing Sues were quite adept at and that was killing one another.

One by one, as a Sue died, she would explode into scented ash. After a while the room began to reek horribly of strong perfume. Jack rested his arm against his nose, stifling out the scent that threatened to make him nauseous. The Sues fought on, oblivious to fallen comrades and the overpowering scent. Norrington pulled his handkerchief from his pocket and placed it over his nose and mouth.

A hand reached out and wrapped around Jack's bicep. He whirled around, prepared to knock off the head of the Sue that had touched him, but was quite relieved to find that it was Anamaria. Will and Elizabeth were right behind her. The two women seemed to be enjoying the fight. Of course, after being captured and almost executed for possessing the love of the men the Sues had wanted, it was only right.

Then there were three. The pink ash began to settle, revealing the three Sues standing side by side, waiting to claim their prizes. Disturbingly enough, there was not a single mark on their flawless skin and their clothes and hair were just as perfect as before.

"Now you are truly mine, Jack." Star said, sauntering towards him. Jack felt Anamaria's grip on his bicep tighten and winced. "We will truly be happy together." She said, her voice becoming lower in an attempt to be sultry. Jack's face went slack and he could only stare at her.

"Yes. You are my true love." He said suddenly, brushing of Ana's hand. Anamaria's eyes widened in horror.

"Jack! No!" Anamaria shouted.

"Norrington." The high class Sue reached out her arms. "Come to me, my love." Norrington moved towards her. She reached up and brushed a hand against his cheek. "Finally." She breathed. He smiled for her, but his eyes had taken on a glassy look.

"Will! Stop this!" Elizabeth clung tightly to his arm and to the front door. Will was trying to go to the third Sue, a peasant girl who looked shyly to him and ducked her head. He calmly removed Elizabeth's hand from his arm and walked over to her, taking her into his arms.

"Even when we've won, we've lost." Ana said, shaking her head in disbelief. They could only watch in horror as the three men disappeared out the door with the Sues that had taken them captive.

Elizabeth made a fist. "No. This will not do."

-------

"Now!" Jack bellowed. As one, the three men scrambled out the door of the cleverly disguised jail cell. Norrington turned and slammed the door shut, slipping the key into the lock and turning it. From inside, he could hear the enraged screams of the three Sues, which then quickly descended into sobs, pleading for them to come back. Will made a disgusted face.

"I feel quite dirty now, even if we were only pretending." He said, wiping his hands on his pants as if the gesture would help. Norrington had a quite similar look on his face, but Jack only looked to be relieved.

"The room is to be bricked up tomorrow." Norrington told them. "I will have my best men posted on guard. The only way we will ever be bothered again is if they reproduce." The three glanced back to the door with disturbed expressions on their faces.

"I'd rather not think of that." Jack said, shuddering.

Suddenly there was a battle cry and Elizabeth and Anamaria came charging down the stairs. Elizabeth held up a frying pan, glancing around. Anamaria froze with her sword out but no one to run through. "Where did those bloody Sues go?" She growled.

Jack nodded back towards the door. "Locked away for good." He said, smiling.

Elizabeth lowered the frying pan. "Does this mean that they're gone for good?" She asked. Will stepped forward, taking her into his arms.

"They're gone."

----------

Life had gone back to Port Royal and on the Caribbean sea. Jack was back with his beloved Pearl and had kindled up an odd relationship with Anamaria. No one was quite sure what to call it. Elizabeth and Will were just as happy together as ever and Norrington had found himself a very nice young woman who was very far from being a Mary Sue. All in all, they were happy again with things as they should be.

That is, until the day the portal just happened to open in the middle of the blacksmith shop. Will stared at the portal, hoping that his worst fears weren't coming back.

Instead, two boys and a girl were thrown onto the floor and the portal disappeared. The red headed boy stood up, brushing off his robes and then helped the bushy, dark haired girl up. The second boy got up, rubbing the strange scar on his forehead.

"Where are we Harry?" The red headed boy asked. "And who are you?" He asked Will.

Will groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"Not again."

-The End-


End file.
